Pregnancy is usually a joyous occasion, but the realities can be far from rosy. 41-year-old Anika (not her real name) recalls the emotional turmoil that she experienced during her pregnancy. She is far from alone in this experience: as many as one in five women in Singapore have experienced antenatal depression.

 

Anika first found out that she was pregnant at the age of 35 and was ecstatic. “I’ve always wanted a child, but after three false pregnancy alarms, I didn’t have much hope. Being pregnant was a pleasant surprise, and I couldn’t wait to share the news with my family,” Anika recounted.

 

However, her happiness was short-lived.

 

Spiralling into antenatal depression

It was just a month after Anika discovered she was pregnant that something unfortunate happened: her husband suffered a heart attack and had to undergo treatment.

 

“Due to our conditions, my husband and I began living apart in our own parents’ homes. We argued more frequently because he was reluctant to accompany me to gynae check-ups, and I felt that he was more concerned about himself than our baby.”

 

Anika was also concerned about higher health risks for her baby due to her age. In addition, she felt stressed over her husband’s health, the lack of progress for her newly purchased house, as well as the financial strain of her medical bills and renovation expenses. 

 

Anika’s mental health deteriorated over time and she struggled to cope with antenatal depression, which manifested in behaviours that were unusual for her such as eating less (“I only ate fruits at one point in time”) and withdrawing from her family. Feeling helpless, she would cry alone in the privacy of her new and empty home.

 

“My parents saw that I was not myself. Whenever they asked if I was okay, I would avoid telling them how I was really feeling as I didn’t want them to worry for me. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I broke down in front of my dad.”

 

On the road to better mental health

Anika’s father and gynaecologist emerged as her main pillars of support during this challenging period.

 

From accompanying her to gynaecologist check-ups, helping with medical expenses to lending her a listening ear, Anika’s father was a source of strength. “My dad checked in on me regularly and never failed to comfort me,” she shared.

 

To ease her worries, Anika’s gynaecologist scheduled a regular monthly check-in instead of every trimester. “My gynae reassured me that it was normal for first-time mothers like me to feel sensitive and emotional. She also encouraged me to be strong for my little girl,” she expressed.

 

For mothers undergoing antenatal depression, Anika recommends confiding in someone that you trust, such as family, friends or a medical professional. She also suggests keeping active (“By climbing the stairs or doing physical exercises.”) and eating well as ways to improve your mental well-being.

 

Helping loved ones with depression

Motherhood can be challenging for those with antenatal depression like Anika, but it does not have to be a lone journey.

 

Priyahnisha Noorulla, a psychotherapist, advises looking out for these signs to check if you or your loved ones have antenatal depression:

  • Low mood or persistent feelings of unhappiness
  • Losing interest in social activities or hobbies
  • Significant changes to eating and sleeping habits
  • Suicidal tendencies or thoughts of harming the baby
  • Trouble with concentrating or making decisions

To support your loved ones with antenatal depression, Priyanisha recommends using CARE:

  • Concern — offer encouragement and reassure them that they are not alone.
  • Active listening — acknowledge their emotions without judgement and create a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings.
  • Respond effectively — offer practical support within your capabilities, such as helping with daily chores. Support them in getting professional help if needed.
  • Empathy — be mindful of their boundaries and care for their needs instead of imposing your own feelings and solutions.

 

Having antenatal depression is more common than we think; like Anika, don’t be afraid to seek support when you need it. For more resources on managing your mental health, click here.