As our child might require their device for schoolwork, we need to be flexible with our rules. A mix of negotiable and non-negotiable rules can help us safeguard their cyber wellness while ensuring their needs are met.

Non-negotiable rules must be enforced firmly and consistently so our child understands its significance. Examples include:

On the other hand, negotiable rules should be adapted according to our child’s needs. For example:

We can work with our child to come up with a schedule as well as rules and the consequences for breaking them. This gives them a sense of ownership and responsibility.

Time spent on devices should only be considered excessive when these four areas of our child’s life is affected:

If they have trouble cutting back, it may be time to speak to them about it. Explain that we will need to implement strict rules and time limits, and will relax these when they are able to manage their screen time better.

Here are some ways we can address the issue:

For additional support in helping our child manage their time online, we can seek professional help.

The Internet is filled with all kinds of content. While some content can be good for our child, some could be inappropriate for them at their age.

As parents, we can protect our child by filtering content before they watch it. Here are some things we can do to ensure they receive quality content:

While parental controls and co-viewing can be excellent ways to minimise the chances of our child viewing inappropriate content, they could still accidentally come across content that may have been missed by the filters or that we did not have a chance to look through.

Examples of
inappropriate content

It includes but is not limited to:

• Violent acts
• Risk-taking stunts
• Encouragements of self-harm
• Sexual content

• Hurtful remarks or negative stereotypes
• Illegal activities such as drug abuse

Examples of
inappropriate content

It includes but is not limited to:

• Violent acts
• Risk-taking stunts
• Encouragements of self-harm
• Sexual content
• Hurtful remarks or negative stereotypes
• Illegal activities such as drug abuse

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As long as our child has access to a digital device, it may only be a matter of time before they encounter inappropriate content. We should be prepared to speak to them when such situations arise. If our child has viewed inappropriate content:

Here are some ways we can teach our child to identify if the content is inappropriate:

• Is it illegal or against school rules?
• Is it explicitly asking me to harm or will harm myself or other people if imitated?
• Is it content that others might find disturbing?

We are role models to our child. Spending excessive time on our devices can influence our child to think that this behaviour is acceptable. When we limit our use, it is likely that our child will follow suit.

Social media includes websites and applications that allow our child to easily interact with other people and share about themselves.

While most popular social media platforms have an age-restriction of 13, age may not be a good gauge of their maturity and understanding of these platforms. Instead, we can consider the following to assess if our child is ready to use social media:

If our child is able to understand all these areas well, we can consider letting them have access to social media while under supervision.

We can also think about creating our own social media accounts so we can guide our child in using them. If we do intend to monitor our child’s activities on social media, ensure that we are open about it and help them understand that we are doing this for their own safety.

Let them know what to look out for (e.g. how they interact with their peers, the content they are posting, who they follow or accept as friends). Monitoring should relax as they grow older.

Netiquette is a set of rules on how we can display courtesy when interacting with others online.

Having netiquette helps us create a positive online environment and express what we want to say clearly, reducing misunderstandings and miscommunication.

Here are some tips on netiquette we can teach our child:

Be genuine

Remind them to express themselves online as they would offline (e.g. share about things that they truly enjoy to stay genuine and sincere).

Be mindful of how they express themselves

Remind them that the things that they might want to say may be perceived differently online as compared to a spoken conversation, especially with the use of abbreviations, emoji, and the lack of face-to-face communication.

For example, they might capitalise their words in an Instagram post to express excitement, but it can come off as aggressive online.

Be aware of what they share

Remind our child that what they say online can be easily accessed by others, even if it’s a private message or post.

Before posting anything, they should remind themselves of the acronym ‘THINK’:

Stay calm

It can be easy to misinterpret what others are saying online. Advise our child to refrain from being too quick to jump to conclusions or to take offense with the other party. Instead, encourage our child to clarify what was said.

Miscommunication is unavoidable and may happen because our online expressions do not contain the same non-verbal cues as they do offline.

Be respectful

Encourage our child to be kind and considerate by respecting other people online, especially their privacy.

Spread positivity, not rumours

Advise them to avoid spreading rumours as these can circulate a lot more easily online.

Encourage them to be considerate towards others and treat others the same way that they would want to be treated. For example, ask for permission before posting photos, videos, and details of others online.

Peer pressure can exert a powerful influence over our child, online and offline. They may feel pressured to dress in a certain way or cave in just to fit in with their peers. Sometimes, out of curiosity, they may be tempted to try something new that their friends are doing.

They can sometimes get caught up with negative influences and feel compelled to follow their friends in sharing inappropriate content or engage in harmful activities such as cyberbullying. When they do not participate, they may develop envy or a Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO).

Tips to resist peer pressure online:

Digital footprints are bits of information left behind as a person uses the Internet. Our child can easily leave behind their digital footprint through their search history, text messages, and ‘likes’ on Instagram.

Remember that once our information is online, it is difficult, or even impossible to remove it. It can shape our child’s reputation, online and offline. As their words can be easily misinterpreted and spread, it is important that they are mindful of their digital footprint.

Some things to keep in mind are:

We can also contribute to our child’s digital footprint as well. Some things we can keep in mind are:

One of the things that can affect our child’s cyber wellness negatively is cyberbullying. Cyberbullying occurs when various technologies are used to intentionally hurt someone in the digital world.

Cyberbullying can come in many forms. For example:

As cyberbullying is common and can easily happen to anyone, knowing how to deal with it is crucial:

Stop what we are doing online

Encourage them to stop whatever they are doing online if they encounter something that makes them uncomfortable, fearful or hurt.

Block the person

Cyberbullies love the attention they get, and the more our child reacts to them, the more likely they will return to bother them. Advise our child that it is best to disregard their hurtful comments and be unresponsive so that they get bored and move on.

If someone is sending them hurtful texts or posting insulting or hateful things online, our child should block all lines of communication with the cyberbully.

Get them to update their privacy settings such that only people they allow, can view their profile. Our child can also block or restrict the offending account through the social media app.

Save the evidence

If things get out of hand and the bully refuses to go away, advise our child to keep all offensive, hateful, and abusive emails, comments and text messages in a folder — complete with dates and times — so that if we, our child or the authorities find the identity of the bully, there is proof of their behaviour.

Tell us or a trusted adult

Remind our child that if they ever feel that the cyberbullying is getting way out of hand, they can, and should get help from us or another trusted adult.

Remind them that they do not need to go through it alone. If they feel emotionally distressed, seek professional help for them immediately.

Report

Report these cyberbullies to the appropriate authorities such as the police, especially if our child’s personal safety is being threatened or their reputation is being damaged.

We can help our child to report the cyberbullying incident through the respective social media platforms.

It is easy for children to get away with things they do online as the Internet can easily allow them to hide behind a screen. This can make cyberbullying seem attractive as it can feel like they will not get caught.

As parents, it is important to intervene and stop our child if they are cyberbullying someone. We can:

Check out our page on cyber wellness for more tips to support our teen.