Hi #JustCheckingIn
It may not always be obvious when someone you care for is going through a tough time.
Which is why, all of us play an important role in reaching out and giving them the support and comfort they need. All it takes to start the conversation is a 'hi’.
EQUIP YOURSELF
Want to help - but not sure how?
Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.
These tips are designed to help you navigate these conversations with empathy and care.
Break the ice
Let them know why you're having that chat with them.
Start with something like:
- "Hey bro, how's it going?"
- "It's been a while since we caught up. How have you been?"
- "What's up? You seem a bit down. What's on your mind?"
Show you care
Let them know you're there for them and want to help.
Try saying:
- "I know this is difficult to talk about, but I am here for you."
- "This must be really hard for you. I am here for you whenever you need a listening ear."
Be:
- Genuinely interested
- Empathetic
Ask open-ended questions
Ask them questions that can't be answered with a simple yes/no. This will encourage them to open up and share more.
Avoid questions like:
- "You feel sad, right?"
- "Are you feeling better today?"
Ask questions like:
- "How are you feeling today?"
- "How's it going?"
Lend a
listening ear
It may be good to hold out on giving advice or solutions. Instead, give them the space to express how they feel.
Do:
- Let them speak without interrupting
Don't:
- Jump to conclusions and problem-solve
- Try to force your opinions on them
- Downplay how they're feeling
Show them you understand
Show them you understand their point-of-view. This can help validate their feelings, which will encourage them to share more.
Use verbal cues:
- "I see..."
- "I understand..."
Paraphrase their thoughts back to them:
- "If I am hearing you right, you mean..."
- "So you were feeling frustrated when..."
Be mindful of your body language
Pay attention to your body language too. By positioning yourself the right way, you can encourage them to trust you and open up.
Remember to:
SSit
Squarely
OOpen
Posture
LLean
Forward
EEye
Contact
RRelax
Don't be afraid of silence
There will be silences during such chats - accept them as part of your conversation.
What can silence mean?
- They need a little more time to think things through.
- They may need a few silent moments to rein in their emotions.
Be empathetic
At times, we may think we know how they feel or what they should do. But, imposing our point-of-view on them will only make them feel unvalued and misunderstood.
Avoid saying:
- "You'll be fine. Stop worrying."
- "There are others who have it worse."
- "If I were you, I would do this..."
Try saying:
- "I understand this must be tough on you..."
Bring no expectations
What if they're just not ready to have the chat? That's okay. Be patient and continue to show support.
What should you do if this happens:
- Opening up can be hard for some.
- Let them know you're there for them if/when they need to speak.
Previous
Next
Find other tips:
Break the ice
Encourage
Action
- Encourage them to try out something that can make them feel better.
- Share these resources with them.
Click for more
Encourage
Action
Try saying:
- “What have you done in the past to manage similar situations?”
- “What’s something you can do for yourself right now to make you feel better?"
Stay in Touch
- Stay in touch and be there for them.
- Add a reminder to your calendar to reconnect with them. If you think they are struggling, get in touch earlier.
- Download our #JustCheckingIn conversation stickers here to help you connect with them.
Click for more
Stay in Touch
Try saying:
“It was good to catch up today and I look forward to getting in touch again.”
Do:
Remind yourself to follow up with them for a check-in.
Professional Help
Some conversations may be too big for you to take on alone. If you notice someone who is feeling really low for more than two weeks or seems to be at-risk, encourage them to seek professional help as soon as they can.
Click for more
Professional Help
If you know someone who is feeling weighed down by issues and needs emotional or psychological support, encourage them to reach out to the different avenues below:
Speak to someone on the phone:
- National Care Hotline: 1800 202 6868
- Institute of Mental Health Helpline: 6389 2222
- Samaritans of Singapore: 1800 221 4444
- Silver Ribbon Singapore: 6385 3714
- TOUCHline (Counselling): 1800 377 2252
Consult with someone online:
PRACTICE SESSION
So, you’ve gone through all the tips and feel like you’re ready for the conversation? Put your skills to the test with this quick rehearsal!
1 of 5
Mr. C has been looking unusually stressed of late. What should Mr. P ask him to encourage him to open up?
A
Hi Mr. C, how have you been feeling?
OR
B
Hi Mr. C, are you feeling okay?
2 of 5
Mr. C is beginning to open up about his stress at work. How should Mr. P respond?
A
I understand this must be tough for you.
OR
B
If I were you, I'd have done it differently.
3 of 5
It’s a stop-start conversation with a lot of silences. What should Mr. P do?
A
Keep prompting Mr. C to get a response.
OR
B
Wait and let Mr. C take his time to speak.
4 of 5
If Mr. C chooses to stay silent and not speak about his problems, what should Mr. P say?
A
I know you’re struggling. But I can’t help you if you don’t open up.
OR
B
Take your time - we can speak when you feel ready.
5 of 5
How should Mr. P end the chat?
A
I’m glad we had this chat. Is it okay if I call you again?
OR
B
I’m glad we had this chat.
If you know someone who may be going through a rough patch, check in with them to see if they’re doing okay. After all, all it takes to start the conversation is a ‘hi’.
Next
TOOLS & RESOURCES
Thinking of checking in with someone you care for? These tools, resources, chat stickers and useful links will help you prepare for and manage the conversation with ease.
VIRTUAL JOURNEY
Join us on an experiential journey to learn more #JustCheckingIn tips. Play a fun game that will put your skills to the test and customise cute e-greetings to check in with those you care for!
CONTRIBUTED BY
Health Promotion Board
